What These Dreams are Trying to Tell You
I have had some really absurd dreams and would like some help in trying to figure them out. Some I have had for years and some just once. Some are violent and some are not. In some I am flying through the air. Then in some I have lost 1 tooth, but then they start falling out one at a time till they are gone.I actually feel pain and discomfort in my dreams also.
First of all, let’s talk about the flying dreams. You should know that most of us who study dreams are always impressed by people who dream of flying. It would be the same sort of respect a golf instructor would give to a golfer who hit a hole in one. It’s like, “You go, you!” Flying dreams aren’t that common and the feeling that usually accompanies such a dream is pretty cool.
One thing to ask yourself is this: How did you FEEL in the dream? As you were flying, were you…
- Uninhibited and free?
- Sad and lonely?
- Hurried and anxious?
Dreamologists are quick to automatically label flying dreams as signs that the dreamer seeks more freedom. It makes sense, right? Flight to many people represents freedom. However, in the dream world, that isn’t always the case.
How can you tell? Simply by asking yourself a few questions. The first one is the one we just looked at, “How did you FEEL during the dream?” Each dream analysis or dream interpretation is different, depending upon your answer.
- If you felt afraid, your flying represented your mind wanting very much to “escape” something that looms ahead of you. This could be a test, an evaluation, a dentist appointment, etc. Basically, your mind would LOVE to be able to escape the situation all together!
- If you felt apprehensive before or during the flight (for example, if you worried about being able to pull it off or about falling) – you are probably doubting yourself in some area of your life. You’re having reservations about something in particular. You just aren’t 100 percent “on board.” The dream may be a good warning for you to be sure you look before you even think about leaping.
- If you felt uninhibited and free in your dream, that’s a feeling that you are seeking in your daily life. You may feel overworked and stressed, either at home, school, or work. In this case, the traditional view of flying dreams holds true. You pretty much want to just get away from it all, even if it’s just for a few hours!
- If your main emotion during the dream was happiness, you’ve recently had a feeling of great elation and it carried over into your dream(s).
- If, in your dream, you felt sad and/or lonely, you’ve recently felt these emotions in your daily life. It’s a feeling you mind wants desperately to separate itself from and flying away from the sadness and unpleasant feelings is its way of saying, “Had enough. Bailing.”
- Many people have dreams of flying during times of stress and deadlines. It reminds me of the popular commercial, “Wanna Get Away?” (Also for flight!)
You may actually have more than one emotion that’d be applicable for the dream. Don’t worry about it, it simply means you have a lot going on and are living life out loud!
As for the dreams of losing teeth – that’s a classic type of dream that signals, as you might expect, loss. It’s not as dramatic or as extreme as the loss of a loved one.
Usually, when we dream of losing one or more teeth, we feel that we’ve lost a part of ourselves. Perhaps you’ve recently compromised in a relationship (as we all have to do from time to time) or friendship. I once corresponded with a woman who had a recurring dream about losing teeth. It turns out that she had an extremly generous and selfless nature. When anything needed to be done at work and no one wanted to do it, she’d step up and volunteer to be the one to stay late or come in early. When she and her husband went to the movies, she consistently allowed him to choose the movie. This sort of pattern defined her life – every single day.
Ultimately, this dreamer realized that she was losing a piece of herself along the way. Her independence and sense of self worth were sliding right away. Her dreams were alerting her to this fact. Without changing her generous nature, she did begin to start thinking of herself more.
The fact that you “feel” pain in your dreams simply indicates to me that you are very dialed into your dream world. That is, actually, a very good thing – although it may not always feel like it. This situation allows you to realize, right away, when something isn’t quite best for you.
Over the years, the most asked questions and requested Dream Interpretations consistently involve dreams about lost loved ones. I think there are several reasons for this.
- Some people want to know what the dreams mean.
- Some dreamers believe that their loved ones are trying to communicate with them.
- These dreams are often recurring and people want to know when they’ll stop.
- If the wounds are still fresh from having lost this individual, dreamers want the dreams to go away and are seeking advice on how to make them do just that.
First of all, having never been “on the other side,” I have no idea whatsoever if lost loved ones try to (or are even able to) communicate with their loved ones through dreams. However, I’ve lost a lot of loved ones – including my mom and dad, each who passed away far sooner (and younger) than anyone would have expected. From these experiences, I do know feel 100 percent that our loved ones communicate with us in the waking world. I’ve had far too many beautiful experiences to even begin to doubt this. However, I’ve never had a dream that I, personally, felt was from a lost loved one.
They weren’t dreams that left me happy or encouraged – they always caused me to feel sad. I KNOW for a fact my loved ones wouldn’t have wished that on me.
For this reason, I believe that when we dream of our lost loved ones, it’s a clear case of one thing and one thing only: Our brains are trying to find a way to deal with and come to terms with this most unthinkable situation. The grief, complete and utter devastation and helplessness that associate the loss of loved ones is almost too much for our brains to handle. The “WHY“s and “WHAT IF“s are overwhelming. We wonder why it had to happen, what we could have done differently (while they were living), what if something different had happened – something that would have kept them with us, etc.
If you think about it, that’s an unreal amount of information and grief for our minds and hearts to cope with. During the day, we “stay busy” and “keep our minds occupied” (in other words, we do what we have to do to keep from crying and/or throwing things 24/7). So, when we’re finally asleep, it’s as though our mind says, “Finally! They’re still. They’re quiet. Let me try to sort this out.”
You’ve heard of the saying, “I’m trying to wrap my mind around something,” right? In this case, it’s as though the mind is trying to wrap itself around something. Something that, frankly, can’t totally be wrapped around.
Unfortunately, these dreams are as much a part of the grieving process as tears are. Trust me, they do go away – and, fortunately, they don’t happen every single night for most people.
The only advice I can give is this:
- Try not to focus on the dreams. Don’t replay them in your mind over and over again – it’s sort of like a slow torture. The more we relive a dream, the more likely a similar one is to recur.
- During the day, try to keep your thoughts directed more on the loved one’s life than their death. Keep them alive in your mind and heart by thinking of things you did together, times they made you laugh, times you made them laugh, the sound of their voice, etc. A lot of people try to avoid these thoughts because they think they’ll make the dreams worse. They’ll actually help. By contrast, however, don’t dwell on the funeral, regrets, etc. Don’t take part in the typical (and understandable) conversations that ask what could have been done, “Why did this happen,” and so on. Looking for answers that don’t exist will only frustrate you mind further, which will lead to it trying to sort things out while you’re asleep.
- A word about regrets. Never, ever allow regrets to dominate your thoughts. Don’t let them rent a room in your mind’s chambers and NEVER let them move in! Think about it this way – what if it had been YOU who’d passed away? Would this loved one have things he or she would regret? Of course! We’re all human, capable of human frailties and faults. But, would you want them to be haunted by regrets or guilt? Of course not. You’d want to tell them, “Forget about that. I never gave it a second thought – I know you loved me. Only remember the good times. I don’t want to be remembered with tears or pain – I want to be remembered positively with laughter and smiles.”
Your lost loved ones soon become a normal part of the fabric of your dreams. They’ll often show up, just as though they were still alive and had never gone anywhere. My dad was in a dream of mine a few weeks ago, eating green beans biscuits, and chicken that I’d cooked for him. I woke up smiling because it was like a sweet little visit with someone who always made me laugh.
If you’re experiencing unsettling dreams, just keep reminding yourself that they’ll soon become dreams you look forward to rather than dread. Until then, bear down and get through this part of the healing process as well as you can. You’re in my thoughts and I’m truly, truly sorry for your loss.
If you’re serious about dream prophesy, dream analysis, dream interpretation, and really getting to the heart of what your dreams mean, you’ll need your dream recall to be on the absolute TOP of its game!
- How well do you remember your dreams?
- Do you remember your emotions and feelings during your dreams?
- Do you recognize most of the people in your dreams?
- In the morning, can you recall at least one of your dreams?
- Do you recall the various “symbols” in your dreams?
If you feel that your dream recall needs a little work, I have the perfect solution: A Dream Journal. While you don’t absolutely have to run out and buy a new notebook or journal to serve as your Dream Journal – it would be a cool idea. You could use any notebook you have around the house, of course, but the more “special” you make the entire experience, the better.
Even if you simply go to one of those amazing stores where everything is $1 and buy a notebook in your favorite color – you’re making a point of taking the entire enterprise seriously, and that’s what’s important. My first Dream Journal was actually a wire notebook with colorful Lisa Frank dolphins on the front. Seemed appropriate enough!
Here’s another idea that adds to the adventure. Find a pocket folder (for mere pennies) to keep with your dream journal. I’ll tell you what it’s for in just a minute!
Get Started With Your Dream Journal
Once you have your dream journal, go ahead and enter a recent dream. Include the people who were in the dream, what you were doing in the dream (what you hoped to accomplish or were trying to avoid), the symbols (knives, snakes, balloons, candles, fire, clouds – anything that stands out) in the dream, and most importantly – HOW YOU FELT DURING THE DREAM. Also, list any and all colors that you remember. List only the top 3 colors you remember – 4 at the most. Oddly enough, this is very important!
A typical journal entry might look something like this:
I was driving an old beaten up red pick up truck. My beloved basset hound, Honey, was in the passenger’s seat. We were in a huge hurry to get somewhere and Honey could talk. In fact, she talked practially the whole time. Her collar, instead of being her normal hot pink one was white. I couldn’t make sense of that in my dream – though her talking didn’t shock me. I was confused as to why the collar changed colors.
We were in a huge hurry and I was driving really fast. We were on dirt roads and passed by a lot of farm houses and brown horses. At some point, my cat Lanie joined us and could also talk. He wasn’t in a hurry and wanted us to slow down and get something to eat. Then I woke up. Hungry.
Main Colors: Red, white, brown
Emotions: Rushed, confused, anxious, hungry!
The above dream is actually one of the first ones I ever recorded in a dream journal. This is actually the VERY dream that began my study of and fascination with dreams. When I was thinking about this dream the next day at school (instead of listening to my Algebra teacher!), I realized that, underneath it all, I was feeling many of the same feelings in my real life as I did in my dream. By the time the class was over, a lifelong fascination with dreams and heartfelt belief in the importance of their interpretations had taken hold.
Be sure that you enter your “feelings” as accurately as possible. Here are a few suggestions: joyful, sad, anxious, worried, depressed, helpless, surprised, ashamed, agitated, frustrated, curious, confused, powerful, unloved, ignored, furious, hopeful, optimistic, sexy, ugly, brave, etc. Even if the emotions seem to have NOTHING to do with one another, write them down.
Remember the Folder?!
This exercise adds even more fun to your dream recall and analysis. Cut out or draw/color pictures that symbolize your dream. If you have room in your dream journal to tape (or draw) them onto the pages, do so. If not, clip the images together with a paper clip, then add a little piece of paper with the date of the dream.
Having visuals of the colors and symbols can really help put you in touch with your inner feelings and emotions.
I have many more articles and exercises planned to add to the site that deal with Dream Journals and Dream Recall – with plenty more about images and, even, collages. So, please grab an rss feed and/or sign up for e-mail updates, so you’ll know what’s been added as soon as it’s here for you. I just wish I could open up my notebooks (and brain!) and pour everything out at once. Kind of impossible, though, so I’ll just take it steady.
I’m actually working on a downloadable Dream Journal template for the site, color charts, and a visual guide to dream symbols. So much to do!
Have a glorious weekend – if you need me, I’ll be right here, typing, thinking, and tweaking away with coffee and chocolate fueling me along.