The Dream Prophecy for Ex Dreams Usually Isn’t What You Think…
First of all, everyone involved in the scenario can relax – because, ironically, dreams bout exes isn’t always as much about the EX as it is the PAST. Sure, there are instances when the dream COULD be about the person – but when that’s the case, the dreamer pretty much knows this right off the bat. The dreams will make them genuinely miss the person and long for what they had.
More times than not, however, the WHO in the dream isn’t even the most important part of the dream. Most of the time, the most significant part of the dream is the WHERE and WHEN – the fact that the individual is present in the dream is simple – they were there in the dreamer’s REAL LIFE timeline.
Here’s an example. A man was married for 7 years to a woman. Most of his 20’s were spent with this individual. After they’ve divorced (and even after he has happily moved on) she may show up in his dreams. It doesn’t mean he still has feelings for her and it certainly doesn’t mean he misses her.
He’s simply dreaming about a period of his life where she happened to be present.
Our dreams are like little movies that play out in our minds while we’re sleeping. Our memories build the build of the content in our dreams. If – while awake – we could actually SEE our dreams play out, we’d realize that there are TONS of people in our dreams from our past – teachers, cashiers, acquaintances… even old friends. In an unconscious state, we don’t often “register” these faces. However, we do recall the more familiar ones, such as loved ones, family members, close friends, and… yes… exes.
Back to the man in our example – His dreams of the past could have to do with several different things:
- He may miss something about the past – maybe in the past he had more money, better health, a job he liked better, maybe family members who have died were alive THEN, etc. The ex could simply represent a period of time.
- He may have regrets or guilt about something he did during this period of time. Maybe even something he did to the ex that he carries guilt from
- He could also carry “scars” from the relationship, along with a deep-seeded fear that what happened THEN could happen again one day.
- Finally, it could simply be a case of the sleeping mind “casting” a movie – using the only “cast” that’s available to it: people from the dreamer’s life, past and present.
I hear so often from people who either have had dreams about exes or who currently love someone who’s dreaming about their ex. Sometimes I even hear from the ex who is showing up in someone else’s dream. The top 3 things I always stress to them are:
- The dreamer (9 times out of 10) is simply dreaming about a period of time that the ex happens to have been present.
- Every individual in our dreams is someone we have seen or met in our lives. The brain is incapable of “dreaming up” (pun unintended!) someone. The people the unconscious mind casts in its movies have to come from the dreamer’s past.
- If someone shows up in someone else’s dream in in NO WAY means they had been thinking about them. Think about your own dreams, how many times does someone randomly show up and – upon wakening – you’re like, “Why in the world would I dream of her/him?!?!“
- If the dreamer (or the ex or the individual currently “with” the dreamer) puts too much importance or emphasis on the dream, only bad things will happen. Absolutely no good comes from focusing undue attention or attaching uncalled for emotions around something like a dream. In fact, the more attention given to this kind of dream the worse it’ll be for everyone involved. Write it off as irrelevant and it’ll be just that.
- Finally, remember these words: THE PAST. The ex is symbolic of one thing – THE PAST.
Generally speaking, that’s exactly where the past should be left.
Dreaming About Exes Can Be Just as Scary!
Dreaming about exes (ex-boyfriend, ex-girlfriend, ex-husband, ex-wife) seems to rank amongst the most unsettling dreams – bordering on nightmares for some people! Snake dreams, dreams about dying, and dreams about loved ones who have died are still the MOST disturbing dreams, but dreams about exes aren’t far behind.
Almost daily I hear from dreamers who want to know what their dreams are trying to tell them. The dream’s meaning, as you might expect, varies from dreamer to dreamer. As with all dreams, you have to look at several things to find your own dream’s interpretation.
If you dream of an ex (or have recently had such a dream), ask yourself the following questions:
- Do I have lingering anger, resentment, or bitterness toward my ex?
- Do I still have feelings for him/her?
- Do I feel guilty for something I did or said to them or for something I put them through?
- Do I feel guilty, in a way, that I’ve moved on and found happiness when they have not?
- Irregardless of my feelings for this person, was I happier THEN than I am NOW?
- Do I simply miss being in a relationship… just not with them?
- Do I have trust issues that stem to this relationship?
- Has this ex caused me to now fear getting hurt – so much so that I am overly cautious with my relationships today?
Your dream is not so much about the ex as it is about your feelings. I’ve heard from people who have ZERO feelings for the ex, but simply wish they were in a relationship. Their ex (even though they wouldn’t want to get back with them) represents the word “relationship” to them. Their dream simply means they want to find a special someone to share their life with.
I’ve also analyzed dreams for people who are carrying baggage from the relationship. Sometimes the baggage is packed with pain that hasn’t quite healed yet. Sometimes there are trust issues or even residual anger and resentment. I once talked with a young woman who kept having dreams about a “really sweet ex boyfriend.” She had moved on and was happy with another guy – in fact, they were planning their wedding. However, she kept dreaming about her “sweet ex.”
She said she was certain she didn’t have any feelings left for him. They’d remained friendly since the break up and she was happy that he’d started dating another girl. When I picked up on the fact that she didn’t have any feelings for him, romantically, I asked her to name the 3 feelings she associated with him. I’ll never forget her reply:
She had cheated on him, lied to him, and hurt him pretty badly. She said her heart still broke when she remembered the look on his face when he found out. She was obviously overcome with guilt. After all, she’d hurt someone very badly and yet, here she was, happier than she’d ever been in her life.
I told her that the dreams sprang from these feelings of guilt and that the best way to deal with the feelings was to forgive herself. After all, he obviously had forgiven her if they remained friends. I also told her that when someone is overcome with feelings of guilt and sorrow for something they’ve done, a heartfelt, face to face apology can help ease the pain. She said she intended to do just that.
When you dream of an ex, think of the three feelings you associate with him or her. The interpretation for your dream is lying within the words that come to mind.