I get MANY dream analysis and interpretation requests – in the comments as well as in e-mail. The typical dream analysis is for a dream the dreamer has had. They want insight into the dream’s meaning. A few times I’ve even had daydreams submitted for analysis. Daydreams are actually pretty fun to prod around in! What’s more, they have vital interpretations as well.
Recently I received a dream analysis request that is a first for me: A young woman (“Anna“) in the Midwest wants to know what her boyfriend’s dreams mean. Considering the importance of such information, it’s really a wonder that I don’t get these requests more often. However, the details go a bit further than that.
“Anna” broke up with him over his dream.
Before I go any further, I should point out that “Anna” isn’t her real name – so if you live in the Midwest and know an Anna, don’t get all up in their business – it isn’t her! For that matter, I changed his name in the story below… so the same goes for any Max you know.
Here’s Her Message:
I really need help. I can’t stop crying and I am afraid that I made a very big mistake. My boyfriend Max told me last week that he had a dream about his ex wife. She’s very cute and has a really great sense of humor and personality. Somehow she and Max just didn’t get along but they are both likable people. I want to hate her but can’t. Max swears that the feelings he had for her are gone and even said he wants to marry me this fall. But last week he came over to my apartment and said that he thought I should know about his funny dream. Then he told me that he and his ex wife were on a vacation and things were really good between them. They talked and laughed like they never did in their marriage. He said that they were someplace in a foreign country, but he wasn’t sure where. All he knew was that they were very happy.
He said that the last thing he remembers in the dream was the two of them walking, laughing together into the hotel room door.
I got so jealous that he had a dream about her that we had a big fight. He said he thought I’d laugh about it because all he and her ever really did was fight and argue. I did not laugh. I yelled at him and cried. Then I broke up with him because it made me so jealous. I guess it shouldn’t matter, but she is really cute.
The reason I am sending you this e-mail is because it has been a week now and I miss him so much. I’m afraid I overreacted and made an idiot out of myself. He knows I’m jealous of her. He should have known how the dream would hurt me. My mom said to try to find out what his dream actually meant. She thinks I made a mistake. What do you think. I may have ruined what would have been a wonderful life together. Max has been calling every day but I haven’t answered the past 3 times. I’m afraid he won’t call tomorrow. I am so sad.
First of all… Max. Buddy. What the heck were you thinking?!?!? I’m all for full disclosure, but seriously, some things (oh, I dunno, like dreams about ex wives… especially cute ones) can stay private.
Personally, I think his only mistake was telling Anna about the dream. I don’t think like a male, so I can’ t imagine what he was thinking – telling a current girlfriend about a happy dream like that – starring an ex wife that she’s obviously jealous of. If they did argue and bicker constantly, however, the fact that the dream was so “picture perfect” probably did strike him as funny. Some might even say that the fact he told “Anna” about it was proof that his life with the ex WAS a nightmare.
My own personal feeling is that if he had any feelings for the ex at all, he would not have told Anna about the dream. When I responded to her, I told her as much. I also asked if he could have been trying to make her jealous by telling her about the dream and she said it was very possible because he’d recently been jealous of a male friend of her’s.
Irregardless of why he told her about the dream, the fact that he had the dream in the first place absolutely, positively does not mean that he has feelings for his ex. In fact, I believe that she is actually symbolic of Anna! The fact that Max and Anna are planning a wedding means that he’s thinking of their new life together (a foreign country would be symbolic of a new life… a fresh start).
Up til now, the only “bride” Max is familiar with is his ex. Somehow in his dream, his subconscious mind made the association of bride with his ex – but I’m 100 percent certain Anna is the bride in the scenario. The newness of the everything points to this being the case. Also, the fact that they’re so happy in the dream indicates he’s thinking about how happy THIS marriage will be.
The door in the dream is also very symbolic. When we dream of doors, we often think of either “Closing the door” on something or “Opening a new door.” I believe the door in Max’s dream is symbolic in two distinct ways: It’s symbolic of closing the door on his first marriage and opening the door to his second marriage. Closing the door on the one without happiness and laughter and opening the door to happily ever after.
I told Anna about my thoughts on his dream and BEGGED her to let me know how things worked out. I got invested after all! I got an e-mail from her the next day saying that she had gone to see him and apologized. He apologized for telling her about the dream….. Anyway, the wedding is back on and I know they’re going to be ridiculously happy.
I want to thank Anna again for letting me share the dream with all of you. I just felt that there was a very important lesson in her experience. Moral of the story – be careful who you tell your dreams to! Moral of the story #2 – never break up with anyone over a dream!